Scrapbook Forty Six…



October 2013


I never go shopping…

Kaune'sBut I was in Kaune’s grocery store with five items in my cart. Just a few things I needed to watch the Broncos play the Cowboys: pepperoni, bologna, Tabasco, salami and horseradish.
As I approached the check out counter, a shapely twentyish-looking woman raced past me. Her pushcart was loaded with six-packs of Corona beer. She wore tight shorts and slosh sandals, but it was her large hair – garish red and full of curlers – that struck me. The curlers were mostly white but a few were brown, and her piercings and tattoos introduced me to a world I had rarely seen before. I told myself I had to get out more.

As I slowed my cart to prevent a wreck, Mz Fashion Maven gave me a grin that said my 83 years were no match for her youth and exuberance.

The checkout line moved slowly and the delay gave me time to observe Mz Maven, who seemed to be annoyed by my preoccupation with the objects that decorated her hair. As we stood there looking at each other, I politely asked, pointing to her hair, “How many stations can you get on that thing?”

Wow! I quickly regretted the question as the color in her face started to match her hair tint. Suddenly she looked like she had an itch in a place she couldn’t scratch. It really bothered me when she yelled, “How dare you…!” (expletives deleted) in a loud and commanding voice.

When all of the shoppers started staring at me, I wanted them to see that my hands were in my pockets and had been there for a long time. I was embarrassed and started backing away. Outside I watched from behind a truck of watermelons until Mz Maven loaded her supplies beside a chainsaw in her pickup truck. As she pulled out, I saw she had a bumper sticker that read: Practice Beauty & Random Acts of Pleasure.

I munched on saltine crackers while the Broncos beat the Cowboys by three points. I’ve decided to stay at home more. ff




89 thoughts on “Scrapbook Forty Six…

    • That was so funny. Wonder if it really happened? Although, I do not think one can make up a story like that. I have gone and seen people with rollers in their hair without all of tattoos!! But sometimes I run into some pretty wild dressed persons who think they actually look good and it scares me how they all think that is normal…LOL continue the tales Forrest, we all need your sincere humor in our lives!!

  1. LOL! Thanks for sharing. Your story put a huge smile on my face 🙂 I would have laughed at your comment. I guess some people just don’t have a sense of humor. And yes, this world gets scarier by the minute. Staying home more seems like the safest bet. By the way, were you happy with the outcome of the football game? Being a die hard Bronco fan…I was delighted!

  2. I know what you mean Forrest – it’s a different world out there today. Great story anyway, but I’d steer clear of that pickup from now on if I were you. 🙂

    Being a Texas boy I bet you were not too happy with the outcome of the game, and neither were my daughter and son-in-law who live in Dallas!

  3. Now, Forrest, can you remember back at least 60 years. At that age, some “OLD” people may have got in our way (a little bit). Your story made me laugh long and hard. Thanks!

  4. Good going Forrest! I think I just met her in Price Chopper here in VT 20 mins. ago.You scared her real good . Anyways, thanks for giving us a good laugh.

  5. “pepperoni, bologna, Tabasco, salami and horseradish”

    Makes me hungry. My dad and I used to snack on these, we made a rollup with a splash of Tabasco on top.

  6. that could’been an embarrassing moment! i’ll tell you what i know, what you learned in that store is this valuable lesson. you really have to be careful how you present yourself to the public these days and what you say, and if you speak to strangers then you’re bound for trouble! you just don’t know how they’re going to react these days. and what about hitchhikers? why would you ever want to invite that kind of crowd? i drive a small kia just for that reason. just room enough for me only and i keep the floorboards littered with empty cans leaving no room for anyone else in it, not even my wife, but that’s by design – lol. she even scares me even after 20 years… : )

  7. Seems like a foxy lady! I should try my hair like that, unfortunately, there’s no red in it.

  8. After living in LA for seven years, very little shocks me–but her reaction did! I figure anyone who goes out like that WANTS to be noticed. If I’d been behind you, Forrest, I would have cracked up, so she could have yelled at both of us.

  9. LOL – FF – I LOVE the name you gave her – Mz Fashion Maven! I think she was in the wrong store though – Kaune’s is a NICE store – I think Mz missed the turnoff for Walmanrt – sounds like she is one of the “People of Walmart’ we love so much!

    Also, I love your grocery list – now I want a sandwich!

    • Kaune’s is a NICE store. I thought Donna Kay hadd a ddress code on file. Posted notices should demand our attention as they are there for a reason. If nothing else, a large ape of a man standing watch would certainly control any issues that might arise from an attractive young lady who’s hair is deep red. Well truth be known, he would have no power at all. You know what I mean, a guard can act tough but we all know who wears the tight shorts, the costumer! lol! If nothing else, he could control any shoplifting as we know certain costumers ignore that notice no matter how conspicuously you post it. People that steal canned goods in an effort to “clean up” at other’s expense need to find redemption before they get to the “recycle center” and people that clean up steel cans at their own expense find redemption at the recycle center. That’s funny! Anyway, sorry about Dallas coming up short in the game the other day against the Broncos. If I could offer up any advice It would be something like Romo needs to be sure that his passes will fall into good hands that can control the pass. Once he believes that he won’t be beat again. As predicted the Cowboys will make the important plays that they’ll need to make to make the Super Bowl! Similarly, I predict the Dallas that runs this site will certainly not come up short in this game either… after all it is “THE THRILL OF THE CHASE!” Good luck to all, especially you Dal! (Although secretly I am rooting for me!) Now back to my book, no wait, I don’t have it! Where is my book!! jk I can see it all in my mind. Let’s get out there and find this chest of gold people! It really is out there waiting for us! Stay up late working on this like I do! We can do it people! Let’s solve this thing with brainpower! Thanks f for the awesome challenge!!!!!!! DEB don’t feel bad, I doubt anyone is even remotely near solving this poem – keep at it! Now I sound like a cheerleader when I should be trying to get you all to quit so my odds will increase….what am I thinking? I gotta get some shuteye. nite knight.

  10. LOL – Forrest, that is perzactly why my bride of 42 years will not allow me out in public alone. She’s says I could start a riot at a church social. As Miz Malcolm said above, some people’s actions and/or appearance just beg for “comment”.
    Thanks again for the Chase and everything involved with it….keep the stories coming!!! (loved your grocery list, esp. Tobasco)

  11. Hmmmmmmmm …… Haven’t seen anyone wear “curlers” for a very long time. (Decades).
    Hints ff?

  12. Looks like that one went over everyone’s curlers. Maybe next time you see Mz. M, you should insert a coin into her mouth and see if transmits any data.

  13. Don’t bologna, salami and horseradish basically mean the same thing, in slang, for example: that’s baloney (you don’t believe), that’s a lot of salami (you don’t believe) and that’s horseradish (you don’t believe) but just add a few more toppings like pepperoni and tabasco (not sure what their meanings are) but they do add flavor to it all. I’m sure there is a sandwich like this but could FF be telling us something here? What are your thoughts…?

  14. She sounded stressed. Maybe her monthly government check was freaking her out, you know, with the shutdown and all that. Some folks get stressed, like a rubber band. But then they bounce back stronger. I’m sure she didn’t mean those things. I know I was stressed, maybe that’s why I can see her situation from a different perspective. The Cowboys? I liked them best with Roger Staubach and Tom Landry…But those were the good old days. Yep. Those were the days.

  15. Never stare into the face of danger, especially a woman with hair issues. You never know what she has hidden in that hair.Thanks for the laugh Forrest!

  16. Clue #11

    No need to dig up the old outhouses, the treasure is not associated with any structure.
    This has me stumped! What is the definition of a “structure”? The only thing NOT associated with a structure would be a cave or a mound of dirt. I wish ff would be a bit more clear in what he means by clue #11.

  17. Wow that’s an amazing clue. He’s never said anything like that to me….I’m not sure if that’s good or bad lol.

    The chase is slowing for the winter…but, if you want to chat about the chase, I have a forum called and there’s usually people who post there day and night. I still come here to chat too when Dal has a new blog post. We need more girls on The guys are taking over.

    • No, it wasn’t a clue. It was more like a bold statement for me to stop looking. Do you think it’s been found and that is why he told me that? Hmmmm second thought, maybe your right. Maybe the clue was to stop looking.

      • no he wouldn’t ever tell anyone to stop looking. I think it’s a clue in that you know all the things you said to him….wasn’t it. It hasn’t been found. He responded to a guy who posted on my site that said he found it and said it hadn’t been found. He would post if it was found and tell people to put it on their blogs if it was found he has said.

        • Maybe, but I am pretty certain he was advising me to give up searching. He probably hates to see people spending a ton of time and money when they have “no clue”. If I keep up the search, I may have to sell the farm:) I am sure he was looking out for my best interest.

          • Oh, have you searched that much? Can I ask what state you live in? Just curious how far you have to go to go out West…or are you IN the West. I can relate to the spending too much….but I can’t seem to stop. I love it too much and I have too much hope.

  18. I haven’t searched as much as most of the bloggers. I don’t live far, but definitely Too Far To Walk. Dal gave up searching didn’t he? He must know something we don’t.

    • I will not give up until:
      1. Stephanie finds it.
      2. A bear eats me.
      3. I start seeing harpies.
      4. Ezmerelda dies
      5. They hire Christopher Lloyd to play me in the movie.
      6. My book, True Life Adventures of a Real Treasure Hunter, hits number one on the NYT Bestseller list.

      • Is that really the title of the book I think you’re still writing? I’m hoping for number 1, unless you know other Stephanie’s…..

        • Not the title of any book..
          All meant to be humorous..
          But I have been giving presentations to various GIS Groups about treasure hunting using that title…

          • Dal,

            Can Forrest confirm to your blog that the treasure is still out there?

            It appears there are some who have been ardent searchers which are now questioning if it still exists and has not been found.

            I would also like to know because I am planning my third trip and I live in North Carolina.


          • Tarheel

            Steph just posted a message 2 days ago

            “The treasure is still where I hid it and with winter snows coming soon its location will probably remain unknown, at least until spring.”

          • Tarheel-
            You mustn’t be a worry wart. Forrest said he would let us know if it were found. Lots of spoilers like to say they found it…not so according to Forrest…so please keep looking…along with the rest of us…

          • Pam- direct from the poem ” if you’ve been wise and found the blaze, look quickly down, your quest to cease,
            … All that is required is to find the blaze. The blaze is a ground penetrating radar unit. Which I found at the Draper exhibit at Buffalo Bill Center of the West in Cody, Wyoming. I am waiting for Mr. Fenn to deliver on goods.
            Would be happy to answer any questions as this solve of poem is solid.

          • Bob and Connie–AKA Horatio and Zelda, have been advocating this idea for quite some time now. Forrest asked them to leave the exhibit alone. This resulted in Horatio sending threats to Forrest. I have also received confusing and odd messages from Horatio.

            According to Forrest, they know nothing about where the treasure is hidden. Why do they persist? Maybe they need attention. Maybe they want to be remembered as the folks who got it all wrong.

        • Its not over yet Bob…
          Ive thought it was over, over and over again.
          You may think you’ve solved it, but its just the beginning. Welcome to the Fenn Rollercoaster.

      • lol We better all quit if we start seeing harpies. But wait, stranger things have happened in NM…

      • I refuse to give up either… too much time and effort put into this through desperation.
        Maybe I should hop on the bandwagon and start a book.
        Is Esmerelda your pickup or van? Oh and what are Harpies?

    • @Tarheel, Forrest sent me this email so that I could post it on in response to a guy who said they had found it. That was just two days ago. So it’s still out there. Forrest has also said that he would post if it was found and would have the blogs post that it was found if it was. Hope that helps.

      From Forrest……

      I have emails from 38 searchers who claim to have found the treasure and it is in their possession. None are willing to tell me where they found it or send me a photo. I think this book writer’s name should be added to the list. The treasure is still where I hid it and with winter snows coming soon its location will probably remain unknown, at least until spring.

      • Does anyone really know if it has been found? How would Forrest know unless he went back to check on it every week. He can only assume it is still where he put it, unless there is a catch to the one who claims it and they would need to tell him in order to get it. As searchers we should not assume it IS or IS NOT out there. We should never assume what the finder would do or if he/she would even tell. After all, the poem tells us to “take the chest and go in peace”. Not “when you find it give me a call”. Ask yourself if going public meant losing what you “discovered”, would you tell or stay silent?

        • In one of the interviews he gave, he said that he would know if it was found…but can’t say how as that would give too much away. I had thought that maybe he had some type of locator in there(all the talk about radio transmissions), or it was close enough to him that he could drive by and see if something was moved, or there’s a note inside with the bio that says he’d give them something else if they contacted him.

          I think he likes it to be a mystery as to when he hid it. He doesn’t like to confirm or straighten out things….so I think your comment about about assuming anything is right in my opinion. I think we can all misconstrue a comment made by him….but we have to remember to just pay attention to the poem.

          • Hi Stephanie…I tried mozilla but wouldnt load out in the bush…smiles.

            Too…f is all to familiar with the black box and locaters….intersting almost all black boxes are recoveted after crashes…accept a few from 9–11…hmmm.
            4 days to Santa Fe.
            Mark H.

        • I think that he means that when you find it you are going to HAVE to say something in order to keep it, otherwise remain silent and forever hold your piece. lol.

      • A question to Forrest. Why won’t you tell us the date (month, day and year) you hid the chest?

        • this is one of many things Forrest has done to insure the chest location area remains unknown

          of the many people in Forrest’s life, someone would know where he was or where he traveled through on that day

          • @Mark Try the Firefox app. That’s what I used to get to work on my Samsung Galaxy S2 Android.

            I found out that there’s a locator called an Omega for planes. I’ve thought that the double Omega could mean there’s two radios. One at the box and one he can use from home. I thought that the “short” comments(Peggy being so short in his car) could give a clue as to “shortwave radio” that maybe he can hear a signal at night(the moon graphic) to know if it’s still in it’s location. He talks about being found with a locator, he talks about the crystal radio not needing batteries.

  19. I haven’t found his treasure yet either, and I lost count of how many times I have been out. I would say at least 40-50. But I am from an area where both Santa Fe and Cody are equally accessible. It sucks that people have to resort to infiltrating people’s personal lives over all of this. And as far as LiDar goes, thats so last year.
    Good Luck

  20. Nicely said Zelda.
    Too dal this is a nice site….

    Bob plz…no more saying you have the box “tell the girls its over” unless you have the box…

    dal freedom of speech…moderating is aggravating!
    We can all talk and get along even if annoying.

    102 cheers….smile.
    Mark H.

    • Yeah, nobody wants to deal with a dipstick when the stakes are this high. “NO DIPSTICKS ALLOWED!” LOL. Moderation is a way to see how they measure up before they get their roots in too deep and start a bad seed… makes good scents to me.

      • Who decides…someone who uses the word dipstick…or test tube baby…the lottery is also high stakes…you wont win that either. censorship is similar to prohibition…or the drug war…it doesnt work.
        Intelligent people will be able to cipher thru non-sense.

  21. What does that mean, infiltrating peoples personal lives? I am lost, again. lol
    People share only what they want to, in my opinion.

    Concerning personal freedom to express ideas about the chase, trying to keep people from expressing their thoughts only leads to narrow ideas, and less chance of a solve.

    My home of Brown is unique. It came from someone telling me my idea was impossible .Derived from Forrests words ,listen well. Thats why I found a group of like minded people to bounce ideas off of. Creativity isnt a bad thing. Just my opinion.

  22. Im sorry if I offend anyone…I have much respect for dozens of hunters.
    But swearing, saying stupid crap, and nut jobs, is a part of the internet. Myself included.
    If dal allows some to speak and not others than it is with bias. Bias in itself is as bad as plagerism.

    Even annoying people like myself should be allowed to speak…for some the trash I Talk…may be another ones treasure.

    Tare down that wall Mr. dal.

    • Dal doesn’t typically sensor people. It’s only if they get obnoxious and say things to cause unease in a major way. For the most part he has no problem letting people speak their mind. Dal pays to host this site though…so if he wants it to be a place where it’s peaceful and happy….he can make that call. For the most part, that’s how I feel at till yesterday lol….I was a bit obnoxious and snarky with someone who was arrogant. That really get’s under my skin.

      • Stephanie we have agreed to disagree from jump street… and yet it has brought us closer…this is good isnt it?
        deb said it narrows ideas…
        Should the women of Afganistan be silenced for stating their ideas…was the march on Wall st. in vein…is our feedom of speech in all arenas not viable….what might be annoying to dal might be charming to mapsmith (just kiddn).
        And so we agree to disagree…smiles
        Mark H.

        • Yes, I’m fine with people who disagree me…but I enjoy a good debate and will change my mind on occasion if a good argument is made. As for my argument. Public is government property…not private property. Do you believe the Westboro Baptist Church should be allowed to come on to your home property and shout their remarks on a daily basis? Your property is not public. Dal’s web site is not public property even though you are invited to access it and visit as you are his front door of his home. He has every right to ask you to leave or lock the door.

          • I agree…however i am not destroying or at someones place smoking a fattie because I support the legalization of pot…I am merely stating on a open to the public website my love for pot. yhis should not be offensive to someone it is only an opinion.
            One may reply or simply ignore my love of pot and opinionof such…smiles.
            Mark H.

          • I can’t post this under your comment Mark…

            I’m not talking about destroying anything or doing anything illegal. I’m talking about rights to private property and speech.

            If I went to your house and sat in your front yard and played music all day and it included some profanity and some sexual comments and it was music that you just couldn’t stand…..and let’s say you have some young kids living with you and they play in that yard and they go in and out of front door where I am all the time and will hear those words…..are you going to be ok with it? It’s just words and freedom of speech as you say and might just be my opinion that it’s amazing music.

            Now, I would have every right to do that in the public street…although there are some laws that might protect from that…like nuisance laws, and the volume and time might be a factor.

            Come on Mark….come to this side of your very own Gorby Wall that Dal won’t take down(shame on you Dal lol).

    • What wall are you speaking of Mark? Tell me where you see a wall. I don’t stop anything you write from appearing here…so where is the wall?
      But even if I did, you may have this blog confused with a public park. Our constitutional right to free speech does not extend to my blog…This is not a “public” property…
      In the blog world “free speech” means that if you feel you need to say something and the blogger doesn’t want you to say it, you can go out and start your own blog…
      Malcontents are not allowed to paint graffiti on my house or property under the guise of “free speech” and expect protection.

  23. Brimley,
    Please don’t be offended. I have nothing but love…but you are mixing apples with oranges.
    No one is puposely writing graffiti on your house. I don’t know where you live…nor did I consider this your house…my bad I’ll take off my shoes.

    dal we could debate censorship (not destroying someones property) forever…but lets agree to disagree.

    My only point, is you will end with only the story you wanted to hear…you could of wrote that yourself.
    Too, nut cases like myself provide some of the best laughs.

    Again this is a wonderful community of people who are likeminded…I only wish the best

    PS. Many people liked Gorbi….Brimley…and like you too…smiles.
    Mark H.

  24. Stephanie you are both charming in your stories and witty in conversation. I digress…
    …now…to New Mexico…
    …with a few casinos in between.
    Mark H.

  25. Wow, it’s amazing how many combinations you can get when you look up fashion and maven in the thesaurus. My favorite is “method expert”. I need to talk to that lady..

  26. A Maven of a different sort will launch from Cape Canaveral Monday. Destination: The Red planet Mars. Things that make you go “huh”. Oh yeah, the University of Colorado in Boulder leads the mission for NASA.

  27. to me Mz Raven looks like the poem, piercings, tattoos and I can see the brown curls not too sure about the whites yet. Cowboys and Broncos again.
    one curious thing here is that the bumper sticker should read ‘Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty’ instead you chose a different kind of word combination. senseless beauty equals ‘pleasure’. are those combos in the poem too?

  28. OK, Forrest, you didn’t really say that to her, right? If I’d been standing in line, I would have laughed so hard I’d have had tears in my eyes, kind of like now, all the way to the car.

  29. “The curlers were mostly white but a few were brown, and her piercings and tattoos introduced me to a world I had rarely seen before. I told myself I had to get out more.”

    ha ha ha, oh Forrest you sprinkle in just enough humor here and there. This really made me laugh.

    thanks for that

  30. This scrapbook is short, sweet, and funny. It’s also its own chapter in Forrest’s latest memoir, Once Upon A While, under the title, I Never Go Shopping, But…. There are significant, but subtle changes between the scrapbook story and the one in the book.

    The artwork is different too with the book featuring stick figures of the story’s main character, this, Mz. Fashion Maven. Page 69 of OUAW features a full page depiction of her with a prominent caption bubble full of nothing but expletives in the common form of keyboard number symbols (If you read the story you’ll know why she’s cussing).
    If this has been discussed before I didn’t see it, and I don’t put much stock in codes and ciphers or the like when it comes to the chase, but this one was a no brainer.

    She says, “*$@#&%!” with the associated keyboard numbers being 8423751. Now it didn’t end up helping me much, but here’s a list of quite a few numerological details about this number:

    Like I said I’m not really a code guy and I couldn’t make heads or tails of it, but maybe it will help someone else. One last thing – the caption bubble is so large it actually covers the page numbers of the previous page. So the number 68 is included in the bubble preceding the 8423751 number…

    • Sweetlou55. Including the current page this is located on, I see all nine numbers. Where’s this headed?

      • I don’t know.. Maybe I didn’t spend enough time on it but I didn’t find any correlation to my best solve or anything significant in regards to longitude and latitude.

        • I try numbers occasionally, but have been stimmied when doing so. I found solution for 8.25 three different ways. But long, latitude only possible for 42(with the bias of it being in another book to tho).

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