Toe to Toe

MAY 2020

A WINNER HAS BEEN CHOSEN
HERE ARE THE FOUR FINALISTS

 

Allen K.
Toenails are the eyelids of your soles.
The windows that look over your next step.
They can shield off hostile intruders,
And paint the town red after a long journey.
 
Tom Terrific
Cowboy logic says that we must never get so fat that we cannot trim those little heifers while in the saddle, otherwise we could die of toe mane poisonin!
 
Texas Brown Dog
Measuring joy, trepidation, love, excitement, certainty, and danger, toenails tingle like telltale barometers. Advising when to stop, turn back, proceed slowly, full speed, or stay home playing canasta.
 
TexasGold
To Make Snowmen jealous

 

AND THE WINNER IS
ALLEN K.

Congratulations to Allen K. and thanks to all who entered!

 

 

 

 

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW ENTRIES

THE TOENAIL JUDGES WILL BEGIN THEIR WORK AND A WINNER WILL BE SELECTED IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS

nails

 

We need a new game to get us past the virus and here it is. “What are human toe nails supposed to be used for?” Please answer in 30 words or less. Researching is not fair because everyone will have the same answers.

The winner will be judged to have the most vivid imagination.

Add your answer as a comment below. In the case of answers being similar or same the first one posted will be selected as the original.

A team of crack, toenail owning judges will be assembled for this quiz.

There will be a prize for the winner. Try to win and imagine what the prize might be…

Quiz ends on Monday, May 25th at 11:59pm, Santa Fe time. One answer per person.

Get your answer in by that date/time please.f

 

Please use the comment section only to post an entry.

“Whoever finds the treasure will mostly earn it with their imagination.”f
(10/10/12)
Link to this quote

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

322 thoughts on “Toe to Toe

  1. scratching a dog’s belly when too far to reach with your finger nails

  2. Toes are on your feet. They are called Toes because they Tow or Toe the rest of your body around. They are hard and protect your toes when you stub or drop something on your toe.

  3. Made for hitting with a hammer to remind you that you are not as coordinated as you think you are.

  4. They are to be used to pick the food junk out of someone else’s teeth! Like a toothpick when you don’t have one. When BOTG, ya know?!

  5. Simple toenail logic says that we must never get so fat that we cannot trim those 10 little digits, otherwise, we could die of toe nightus…:-) (;->

    TG

  6. Toenails are there to scratch the opposing ankle without the need to bend over.

    wdor

  7. Their only function is to let me know when I need new socks. When they poke out like little turkey timers, I know my socks are done.!

  8. Toenails are specifically there to support the edges of the foot. They supply an added level of protection for the soft tissue on the ends of the foot.

    first post went past 30 words, sorry

  9. Toenails are the eyelids of your soles.
    The windows that look over your next step.
    They can shield off hostile intruders,
    And paint the town red after a long journey.

  10. Toenails are backup fodder for nervous people who have
    already chewed their fingernails down to the quick.

  11. Toe Tack Tick

    It depends if your toes are hairy or a little bald. But mostly they are for itching those mosquito bites and providing a home for red fungus.

  12. Hello Forrest,

    Great to hear from you. I will accept your challenge.

    I don’t know why the Great Spirit gave men toenails, but obviously he gave women toenails so they could paint them and drive men crazy with their sexy toenails.

  13. Their only function is to notify me that I need new socks. When they poke out like little turkey timers I know my socks are done!

  14. Toenails are translucent toe panels that let the sunlight in, and therefore can be called: toe-lar panels

  15. Toe Tack Tick. It depends if your toes are hairy or a little bald. But mostly they are for itching those mosquito bites and providing a home for red fungus.

  16. They are used to pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to do yet.
    For example:
    “Your ass is about to read a book my foot wrote.” — Red Forman

  17. They’re for when you need to count past 10, and you run out of fingers. It’s how you toe-tal up numbers.

  18. Toe nails exist specifically to be used in building foot bridges. How else can you hold it together?

  19. Marines are taught to keep our toenails bright and shiny so they can reflect the sun into the observant eyes of fighter pilots to warn them of friendly positions.

  20. Having removed crumbly old toenails below the line, I discovered they are nice bumper guards because stubbing my toes now will send me to the moon; alternative space travel too.

  21. Toenails are for climbing trees. Or at least, that’s what my Dad always told me. I was always in a hurry to let them grow out.

  22. Upon our passing, mice use tiny wheelbarrows to cart away toenails for windows in their houses. They keep sunshine in and rain out. A mouse in your house’s bad luck.

  23. To help you count to 20? ….. No. thats toes, not toenails. Probably some prehensile purpose, but still good for scratching a mosquito bite on the back of your other shin.

  24. I collect my clippings in Mason jars so that I have something to share with Jehovah’s witnesses and door to door salesmen when they come to visit!

  25. Strange enough, they’re made of same stuff as your hair. Inasmuch, they’re basically toe-mullets.

  26. Toenails are there for slicing through your socks to let some air in and circulate around your sweaty stinky foot digits.

  27. Everyone knows that toenails are tiny little windows that showcase the rainbow of trail bruising a tough set of switchbacks can inflict.

  28. They’re to provide ground sensitivity since when we walk we look ahead, not down at our feet; our toenails provide pressure as feedback for balance and spatial awareness.

  29. Toenails are to differentiate humans from other creatures of God. Except for apes, who are the only other creatures with toenails and also noetails.

  30. Our toes are like little troops on our feet to help keep our balance. The toenails serve as a protective helmet to keep the toes safe.

  31. When grown properly, human toe nails curl down over the end of toe. When level, just touching the ground, you’ll be able to feel the vibration when Big Foot approaches.

  32. They’re of no use to the living. They alert cemetery “residents” when someone trespasses on their grave. We all know the old adage: “Dead men smell toe nails”.

  33. tuh make durn sure
    that when pigs fly
    there ears stays warm
    an wart off uh TBI.

    thunk that won up outta boar-dumb
    an no i dont fill won bit gilty.
    sow eye roll.

    – Leach

  34. Sun visors for the piggies that go to the market or wee wee wee all the way home.

  35. Toenails were probably advantageous originally to protect important vascular structures in the toes before shoes. They may also have been important for mobile traction way before humans were bipedal creatures.

  36. Toenails exist so they could be used as money in pre-industrial societies that haven’t invented other forms of currency yet.

  37. to scratch the back of your calf when you are too roly poly to bend over and use your fingernails

  38. maybe them ole toes lives in Harper Valley
    an is afraid ole Jeanie might SOCK it to ’em one more time
    so they gotta wear head gear

  39. Toenails are used to help support the tip of your toes , they are protectors of the toe from all directions , they keep the tip of toe from flattening out , very useful .

  40. Toe Nails are designed to warn you that Your opponent is getting Too Close! They also help point you in the right direction.

  41. Toe nails have one purpose, to let those surfers who are sooooo close to hanging ten, techinally hang ten (toenails)

    J

  42. They had a purpose, before humans imaginations became sufficient enough to design proper PPE for the foot. Now to look pretty and annoy our wives in bed.

  43. Toe nails are the true window to the soul. This is why if you lose a toenail you have so many out of body experiences.

    The source: just trust me.

  44. My uncle was a miner, in the summer he would scrape under my toe nails over a gold pan to collect any gold that collected under them from the creek.

  45. No one knows. Adam did not have a bellybutton, eyebrows or toenails. But Cain had them when he was born. So did Abel.

  46. A toenail’s a canvas to paint
    Should be clipped by both sinner and saint
    Get ingrown when neglected
    And must be resected
    Tasked not to the squeamish or faint

  47. They’re there to draw blood during that special moment in bed with your significant other.

  48. In the evolutionary chain of events homosapians retained there toe nails or Claws to help grip the grown for faster running and for digging in sandy shores also to scratch behind the ear

  49. Toe nails tell you how far is too far to walk.
    When they’ve done it tired, they ‘get lost.‘

  50. Toenails are intricate callouses that a body grows to inform the mind that strength and beauty are synonyms.

    AkB

  51. Toe nails are supposed to be used when you run out of bread. Just spread some peanut butter and jelly or Nutella on them and lick away.

  52. Looooooong ago, the geeky small introvert caveman was bored. Sitting with his legs stretched out, big toe toenails pointing to the sky, he flicked a small piece of wood…. GOAL!!!!!!!

  53. Used for grabbing the little ones toys left at the bottom of the pool and for unplugging the tub. When gone they’re great for scaring bystanders away.

  54. Hand into hand duality
    Toe to toe
    Toe nail soldiers protect our freedom
    War and peace
    A cosmotology pedicure
    To boldly moon-walk
    A slight footprint a giant leap.

  55. Paint little pictures of bricks on your toenails and then walk around the backyard and try to figure out where you want the patio to be. 🙂

  56. I reckon I ain’t exactly sure…but I grow my toenails looooong to more easily facilitate the scraping and spreading of toe jam…

    …on wry. :/

  57. Owls evolved large peepers for full nocturnal sight.
    And cats evolved whiskers to feel around in low light.
    But we evolved toenails to find solid objects in the night?

  58. A toe nail is clearly used for attracting fish (if clean and shiny) when you dip your toe/nail in warm waters halt and begin it at that nailed location.

  59. Toe nails are there to give people something to clip while they ponder life’s mysteries; such as, “Are you sending me a direct message.”

  60. Mine are “receptors”. They let me know what’s going on down there!

    And shields, as they shield me from the many pains upon life’s beaten path.

    The end.

    ByGeorge

  61. They are to frustrate you when you get old, because you can’t reach the darn things. So you just let them grow so you can poke your wife when she’s in your bed space!

  62. When you’ve hidden a treasure, you write the clues on nine toenails. The tenth one is where you draw the map. Look quickly down and follow your feet.

  63. .
    Scouts. Pathfinders. Advanced Guard.

    And to give the old lady who lived in a shoe something that she wont have to go to far to look for.

  64. Well I use mine to hold on to my Dreams …..But in this case I would say they were four counting to 9

  65. Toenails are clearly used for “Contests”, to explore the vivid imaginations of others….. may the best toenails win….. until next time… see ya

  66. Toe nails are for little ones to dance on until they are big, and to help dig in when the climb seems too tough, and to point you forward…

  67. Toe nails are for use for making fishing hooks when you get lost in the wilderness.

  68. Top Keratin researchers poised to release startling data from recent events predicting man’s inability to get a grip will inevitably evolve into rapid grotesque toenail growth syndrome.
    Visit Getagrip.net

  69. When you have cold/wet feet and prop them up on a camp fire, they keep the heat from passing thru your toes. Therefore, keeping the heat in your toes…

  70. My toenails hold a secret. What I use them for has always been discreet but,
    They are special to me and I have only shared them with very few.
    But when my heart desires I paint them blue!

  71. When I was 4 or 5 years old, I used my big toe to check the clearance between a bicycle sprocket and chain.

  72. Toenails are:
    forward shields for our thrilling adventures,
    sharp claws while enduring watery deviations,
    placards for statements and merry quotes,
    fiery providers when goals shadow their means.

  73. Standing up straight, climbing, walking to the treasure. The fungus nails are for camouflage and to entertain people in public.

  74. My wife says “your toe nails are for shredding the
    sheets so I have to biuy new ones”
    BG

  75. Subungual hematoma is a way of life and badge of honor for long distance runners. I used extreme toenail trauma to make an ER doc wince after running Leadville 100!

  76. I don’t know what they are supposed to be used for but… I think of them as ten tiny canvases to paint on. j

  77. well i caint say nuthin far as toes A,C,D, & E’s concerned,
    but assfiur toe-B, it’s cause he always nails it!
    now thas uh Gypsy joke fur ya!

  78. Toe nails are proof that treasure seekers will ponder anything and everything.

  79. As their name implies, toenails were meant to be grown long so ropes could be attached to the nails for towing objects as you walk. You simply Must Listengood.

  80. Toes planted, they let me click my heels together three times and say (my small dog in my arms), “There’s no place like home.”

  81. They’re a focal point to draw attention away from the ugly foot. God created them so women can go to salons to feel relaxed, beautiful, and empowered from that beauty.

  82. “If you don’t have the first clue nailed down you have nothing.” f

    To find WWWH. Dip your toenail in ‘IT’: the ‘Madison River’. Or, stay home and play Canasta.

  83. All I know is when my husband walks outside in his bare feet. Our lawn gets mowed. Lol.

  84. Toenails like fingernails remind us that we all have “soft spots” that need protection, sheltering under a hard outer core. Exposure hurts.

  85. Toenails are nature’s reminder to eat a salad every now and then. And a little yoga wouldn’t hurt.

  86. A crescent moon looks like a toe nail. Ancient people used theirs to predict an E- Clips .

  87. 2nd explanation:

    They are Plan B for those who use up all of their fingernails. Used especially for job interviews, blind dates and hiking in Bear country.

  88. Toenails are for traction, especially when racing in mud, grass, sand, stream beds, on sidewalks, climbing trees and walls, and any time you need that little something extra to win.

  89. Looking down I toe the line , barefooted & naked & shiny clapperclaws , begin to end.
    “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go”
    TS Eliot

  90. Toenails are windows for the feet to look out of, to see where they are going. How else can you explain always being right where you are supposed to be?

  91. Since I am weak in the imagination department, and Forrest is frequently a literalist, my entry is: “In 30 words or less.”

  92. By the end of quarantine, my toenails can be used to intimidate Grizzliez!

  93. Sounds like a standing order to further drive us all in sain; x’s 10! 🙂
    Ok fine, here’s too toeing the line……….

  94. Toe nails
    In Oklahoma time rolls on
    and the lands past is already gone
    But when my sole gets home bound
    I’m gonna use ‘em to nail my feet to the ground

  95. Toenails are for burying your feet in the cool wet sand on a hot summer day.

  96. To illustrate the pairings of things, even when mirrored or reflected. The same but not. Makes me wonder why Mr. Fenn no longer signs off with ff anymore.

  97. I was out of screws and adhesive so I settled on nails. I hope the winner has a need for the clippers.

  98. These toes are meant for scratching and that’s just what they’ll do one of these days these toes are going to scratch all over you! ✌️

  99. Toenails are useful for people who are hard of hearing and forgetful, because when you have tone ails they help you list ten.

  100. Human toenails have longed been used as a tool for dental hygiene. Simply peel, place one end between your finger and thumb then use the other as floss.

  101. Created by God who knew Adam would be clumsy, frequently stepping on Eves tender toes and after sin entered the world, she would be mashing his tender toes, right back.

  102. Toenails are the faces to the characters in your life that give you balance.

  103. Human toe nails are armor. They serve to protect us when someone “is trying to step on our toes.” But feelings aren’t in the toes, they are in the heart.

  104. Toenails are evolution’s way of telling us to start walking upright & stop throwing rocks!
    -B

  105. They are supposed to be used for whatever your mind or heart’s desire considering they’re yours at this time.
    As humans evolve, they will likely go away with our hair.

  106. There is a hidden lotto scratch-off on every TTOTC copy. Oddly, it only works if you do it with the toe nail, and under mistletoe.

  107. Toe nails provide necessary torque for every time your wife shortsheets the foot of the bed, provoking feet to uncomfortably flex horizontally, until sufficient pressure is applied for untucking them.

  108. Toe nails have no real usage. It simply where my peanut butter sandwich ends up when I’m done eating it.

  109. Human toenails are for sneaky daughters to clandestinely paint while you’re trying to read on the couch during stay-at-home! If I win, I’ll send in a photo.

  110. Easy- they’re for reflecting sunlight away from our feet to keep them fresh, Otherwise they’d be even sweatier….

  111. Toenails are to make sure you bend over at least once a month while trimming them.

  112. Definition – archaic: Fenn counters. Smooth hard surface of the toe, for applying labels or markings, counting down the last five steps to finding any treasure. Left/right directional versions typical.

  113. To prompt the finder to ask “What took me so long?” . . . after finding “the big toenail” that
    was formerly thought to represent the head of an arrow or golf club.

    (Some great answers in this thread, by the way. Clever stuff.)

  114. Unlike mystical palm reading, toenail readings are true biological art, Healthy ? Wealthy or Wise? Let me see your toenails and I’ll devise. ( I am posting this again because I can’t find my first entry)

  115. God created toenails and popcorn so he could laugh at my fat arse while I clipped them.

  116. My toes and toenails make me feel like a cross between a skunk and a porcupine! Sometimes I wonder how a scorpion doesn’t sting itself.

  117. To:
    Find edges of furniture in the dark.
    Scratch your opposite heel.
    Clip to wear shoes that are too small.
    Protect toes from falling objects.
    Find large rocks while hiking.

  118. Toe nails are like a good auto insurance policy. It’s always good to have for when you get a flat tire on a rainy afternoon and need a toe covered.

  119. My toe nails were invented to give me a lifetime supply of free arrowheads. They key is to cut them before they curl and then dry them out.

  120. Toenails help you to sense danger of approaching feet who might step on you or get too close. Google reflexology.

  121. Toe nail loss or pain are mental reminders in keeping your shoes and laces properly tightened when following the trail out after never ending switchbacks.

  122. Long toenails were primitive shovels that dug the hole for the seed of Imagination.
    Short toenails had the Knowlege to cover the seed.
    So smile at the dirty nails.

  123. Toenails are for overhand swimming. Durable acrylic-like, aquadynamic plating protects our otherwise tender toe-tops as we slap our feet upon the water propelling us to the other side.

  124. Toe nails brake your toenails running; each crack, shellacked, ‘heels’ the nation.

  125. Toes with toenails protect your feet the more you walk the more socks they eat. Clip them now or clip them not and watch them curl when it gets hot.

  126. I love going to the beach to feel the warm sand beneath my toes. Toenails are useful when drawing lines to make a castle in the sand.

  127. Toenails are for running down a blackboard when you’ve just trimmed your fingernails and they’re too short to do the job properly.

    Skreee-eee-ee-kk!

  128. To show off our personalities by the colors of our nail polish. I love blue with a dragonfly on it.

  129. For the pure satisfaction of hearing them hit something as they fly through the air when clipped.

  130. Well,

    Looks like bells , steps to a opening, or the print from the toes can be rivers or roads ‍♂️

  131. Toenails are used for:

    If Painted – Fashion Statement
    If Trimmed with Nail Cutters – Attraction
    If Caveman Thick and Gnarled Cut with Wire Cutter – Outdoors, Hiking, Manly
    If Fungus – Just Nasty!!!

  132. Toenails are supposed to be used for measuring time…..

    When they are so long you can’t take it anymore, another year has passed.

    Time for the hacksaw! (30 words…. now)

  133. Toe nails are receptors to warm you that you’ve just came toe to toe with the treasure.
    BG

  134. I would say for protection. Like the time I nailed my boot to the plate, setting the rafters at that ranch. It took a buddy with a claw hammer. Thanks.

  135. Toe nails are used as a personal reminder to take care of oneself. They reflect the lack of self care or even disease..

  136. My “X” used his larger toenail clippings to clean the debris from his teeth. I think he must have been inspired by those cavemen drawings.

  137. You can tear little sickle like slices off, and use them as really sharp cutting devices.

  138. Toenails get hard when you get older. Therefore they are needed to explain the saying “that’s as hard as old folks toenails”

  139. My ex-husband used his larger clipped toenail pieces to remove/scrape the unwanted debris from his teeth. From a caveman I wouldn’t have been so surprised.

  140. For booby traps and perimeter monitoring. Dang if I don’t let out a yelp every time I step barefoot on the leftover flying shrapnel of someone else’s toe nail clipping.

  141. Toe Nails are supposed to be used to dig in in order to keep your head over your heels and in the correct location too when the time seems right.

  142. Meant as a defensive weapon/tool like Bear claws. Now, a sad reminder; age hasn’t been kind each time I have to reach them with clippers (sometimes involves unbuttoning my pants

  143. They are to prove the point that having mysteries to ponder will always keep us grounded and to realize we need not know all reasons for everything. Paint life anyway.

  144. This must correspond to having the first clue “nailed down”. At least that’s what I’m thinking.

  145. I believe toenails are to protect the toes , especially when we wear shoes. People from Holland used to wear wooden shoes.

  146. Toenails are a microcosm for our lives: we grow steadily and learn to deal with the nicks and cuts along the way.

  147. Cavemen dangled their toes in the water as fishing bait. and clubbed the fish when it bit. The toenails kept his toes from getting shredded to bad.

  148. Feet smell bad and everybody knows toe jam is the worst part of stinky feet smell. Toe nails put a cap on the jam stench. Thank God fish have scales.

  149. Useful Toe Nails

    Oh, the phalanges with a smell that wreaks true!
    Toes give the feet purpose in a shoe, but
    Toe nails give toe nail clippers something to do.

  150. Toe nails reflect the light reminding us to look up in addition to being ornamental shields protecting our toes and scaring our enemies.

  151. Toe nails are for your daughter to make fun of you when you are wearing flip flops and you neglected to trim them recently!

  152. Toenails are used as exoskeletal support and cover: a toe topper tarp-like tegument. A dense dactyl dermis. A foot-finger phalanges facade. A cutaneous keratin cuticular casing.

  153. Violets are blue,
    Roses are red.
    Without our toe nails,
    We’d be scratching our heads.

    Their purpose is clear,
    No need to frown.
    They assure our piggies
    Aren’t upside down!
    🙂

  154. Toe nails are the evolved version of claws that our primate ancestors used for digging, climbing, and traction.

  155. (Considering the bottom of the foot is the sole)…toenails are little shields that protect the soul.

  156. Kneading: Like opposite polar abstractions of our body (toenails) into the earth as the fingernails are used to stimulate the/a mother’s milk when feeding.

  157. Toe nails are there to collect dirt and grime so us humans won’t suck our toes.

  158. Your toenails are there to prevent your toes from being hurt when you step on them with your other foot.

  159. Look at those “pearly whites”
    Doubt these little piggies ever went to market.
    More like show pigs.

  160. Mostly used to find ends of socks, but some rare few witness mountain-men using these tortuous toe-horns defending their claims against territorial buffalo with gnarly disposition and mamma platypus vigor.

  161. When the treasures found and the story breaks , “ they “ will keep you Posted .

  162. I find them useful for going backwards after I realize I should have made that left turn at Albuquerque.

  163. For balancing out our feet
    Without toenails our feet
    Would look real funny
    As we know them
    Plain nails painted nails
    All the same

  164. Policeman to the foot – to protect and to serve.
    Ingrown nails force you to cut to the quick.
    Crossed slanted toe-nails from hammer toe almost form an X in the wood.

  165. when riding double on a tandem bicycle toenails are used to keep the handlebar person alert and traveling in your preferred direction.

  166. Chaos told me that toe nails are the skylights to our souls… of our feet… clomping along putting one foot down then stepping on the next to get to cuddles

  167. Or, they are to protect my toes should I one day stumble upon the treasure and try to carry it home in one trip. g

  168. Human toe nails are to protect the tops of your toes from stubbing your toes when you are on a boots on the ground Forrest Fenn treasure search in the Rockies.

  169. Toenails are supposed to be removable multipurpose implements, used for example shovelling belly button lint – a design flaw now sees their exclusive employment in preventing toes becoming frayed and ticklish.

  170. There’s a wonderful small moon at the base of each nail. It may have been put there as a great starting point for bedtime stories for small children, and also………….

  171. Oh Dal why do we have to to talk about nails,
    You know their purpose is to guard and sure hurts when they are jarred.

  172. Toenails are proof that human beings evolved from reptiles. They are our vestigial scales that allow heat and energy conductivity when we bury our toes in the sand.

  173. Toenails – “needed tops of our bottoms”. Seeing them well manicured makes you feel like dancing. They are also frames that sometimes hold art master pieces, waiting to be seen.

    Bur

  174. Lids for jam, nails for hammering, extra calculator, shields against nature and clumsy steps, blazes to point the way, to support heavy loads when hands are full or tired.

  175. Since my clever answer was deleted, toenails are like rings of a tree and if interpreted correctly can communicate the health of an individual over the past year.

  176. Toenails are the evolutionary leftover protective scales we had when we were dinosaurs!

  177. When you’re lost, you can stand with your feet together, draw an imaginary line along your toenails to form an arrow. That way you always know which way you’re going.

  178. We have toenails to ensure that when you stub one, you’re left with a purple reminder of what an idiot you were. (22 words)

  179. In case the warm water is hot you don’t get burned as bad..
    Probably for shadow animals on the wall. they make big teeth.

  180. They’re the matrix where Toe People’s faces can be drawn to remind us of the importance of little things and the interdependence of all in the greater balance of life.

  181. They are for offense and defense. Little known fact, the man who invented football came up with the idea while painting his toenails. Why he didn’t brag I’ll never understand.

  182. Toenails are supposed to be used for interstellar space travel. However, most humans mistakenly trim them before they reach their maturity.
    -Wiki-PED-ia

  183. Cavemen believed the half-moon to be the sacred toenail clipping of their God. The Caveman fashioned toenail jewelry for his Cavewoman. The scentful adornments warned others that she was taken.

  184. A lesser known sense. Dirt under the nails produces wanderlust if you settle on poor soil.

  185. Toenail or not Toenail, frankly a fickle question.
    Grown to protect my bed of satisfaction,
    but kept in prison of white socks and sandals,
    point out a typical german erection.

  186. I’ve always noticed my nails feel more pressure when trying to grip or push off something. So, I’m guessing part of their function is to help with that.

  187. Oh to be so Bold
    And tip them into water cold
    Come summer you can let them Shine
    Then their Polished design
    Will let Indulgences Reflection shine

  188. The purpose of your toenails is to mark your social distance of the 6 foot diameter around you.

  189. My appendages, numbering ten, originated existing nails as intentional linguistic signalers solely under pedestrian processes of species evolution detailed to offer blurted expletives uttered simultaneously every doggone foot obliquely rammed.

  190. God made a deal with sock companies. To cause demand, he gave us toenails, so that when we forget to clip them, they destroy our socks, and fulfill the demand.

  191. Toe nails are to keep the tops of our toes dry when it rains – special little hat!

  192. Taking nearly a century to decompose, one might see toenails as the arrowheads of our souls! …With that thought, perhaps some treasures are better left buried! 😉

  193. Hmmm…
    “Human Toe Nails’
    Hunt Anomalies
    Mountains Heal
    Humanist Alone
    Animal Uh Stone 🙂

    Cool… Of course I think this might not be following the posted rules…. Just wanted to share….

  194. They are (supposed) to be used as a shield for your toes, but I know how to put one foot in front of the other. I imagine the prize being a pair of steel toe moccasins just in case.

  195. Toenails are there to give you something to chew on when you have “put your foot in your mouth.”

  196. Toe nails may be God’s canvas for a beautiful painting (when you drop something on it or kick something being in a hurry) The pretty colors reminding you “slow down”

  197. Since it says “toe nails” instead of toenails, they are used to prevent humans from dragging their feet!

  198. Toe hats, like combat helmets for the soldier to the fancy hat for a costume. paint them, shine them and show there off to balance your sea legs.

  199. Toe nail are for knowing how much ass you kicked the more crap under them the more ass you’re Kicked . Just Saying

  200. Toenails are not meant to be trim.
    Not because I think is beneath me.
    Not because I wouldn’t stoop that low.
    But it will be a waste of your talons.

  201. The Ancients used there never clipped long toenails as fishing lures. By painting and sharpening the toenail to a Clovis Point. When fish was close, one swift kick.

  202. Toenails point straight,
    Guide us there to,
    Ingrown makes late,
    Blame not the shoe.

    Nails are now clipped,
    Old toes get stumped,
    Two shoes get ripped,
    Journey is bumped.

  203. I have these shells on the end of my toes.
    They are really too sharp to pick my nose.
    So when they get long, I get to cuttin’.
    And sprinkle them on my husband’s muffin.

  204. Our toenails were created to make cheese. Yellow nail polish creates cheddar.. White nail polish creates mozzarella. No nail polish, you get Limburger cheese, etc love to all

  205. Toe nails are for keeping a good grip while executing a round of this little piggy.

  206. Human toe nails persevere long after their founder. In reposed memoriam, these keratinous statues are used to bring good fortune to those who tread with care.

  207. For balance. If you cut toenails off one foot but not the other, you would walk around in circles. Wait, been doing that for years with my map and poem.

  208. Answer: D, incorporate all of the above.
    Mountain lion claws and horse hooves …
    Human toe nails have generated 276 unique thoughts, which strengthens our resolve to walk the extra (s)mile.

  209. I gave up biting my finger nails a long time ago so ” I ah, I mean I hmm, don’t ever think of them.”
    Really, no really.

  210. Toes where created to mellow a stout heart’d man’s persona once he took that sock off. Also, to give gifts of pedicures to the wife during football season. Especially on those big game days.

  211. Music, the salve of the soul.
    And toenails, as ugly as trolls.
    But toenails sharpened with stone,
    Held steady yoga-pose prone,
    In old record grooves make good times roll!

  212. Cowboy logic says that we must never get so fat that we cannot trim those little heifers while in the saddle, otherwise we could die of toe mane poisonin!

    TT

  213. As opposed to human fingernails- time capsules
    recalling what our hands did when
    toenails hold stories of where and how our restless feet have been
    Why don’t we read them?

  214. Toe nails are really ugly, so much so that they require paint to mask them, thus they exist to give shoes and socks a purpose, not to mention Nike!

  215. Early nomadic women, sitting, would hook them to hook onto animal hides to stretch them.
    First pedometer, long nails=not far, no nails= too far to walk

  216. Toenails and toes remind us that the one is as important as the all.We can all live together in peace together ,as in brotherly love…..and toe nails are good at hiding things if you know where to look.

  217. My toe nails are Alpha to yours. They are painted bright red and used as a vault to protect and home my toes. Sometimes they get wet and when they do, they blaze. 😉

  218. Toe nails can be used to nail shut any holes in a hat at the trail’s end when you need to fill it with water for your tired, exhausted horse.

  219. Toenails are made to protect your toes. You can drop up to 42 pounds on it without breaking your toes.

  220. Facts are a little hairy but, at best, toenails are ten opportunities to add color to an otherwise homely canvas, at worst, when not maintained become the agony of defeat.

  221. Toe nails are so others can look quickly down , see the direction you are traveling and avoid collision.

  222. Toenails are built in weighing scales. If your stood up and you can’t see them, your getting fat. They also help balance out that belly to stop you falling over.
    -Jay

  223. They exist solely to protect the toes when playing the infamous “foot wedge” in golf.

  224. When women were birds and the Shamans of Chaco could fly, our talons were fierce weapons. Our toenails are vestigial remnants of the talons of our ancestors. Tools not jewels!

  225. Toe nails are for ants to ride on when the elephant steps in the ocean, they can hide in the cracks and just get a little wet, in my imagination

  226. Toenail(s): A precise unit of measurement.
    5 = 1′. 10 = 2′. <5 ≠ a whole foot.

    [ex. 20 toenails toe to toe = 2 pugilists.]*

    *source – mountain dictionary

  227. My body’s end point,
    An adventure’s start,
    With ten flying carpets,

    The deep temple,
    An eternal challenge,
    Noah’s ships for ant,

    The lovebows,
    A geoprinters,
    The pioneer dogs…

    “Magic Screen.”

  228. My husband says he is “going to find Forrest Fenn’s treasure and lay it at my feet.” My painted toe nails light up the vacant runway. Have flights been grounded?

  229. human (yewmen) toenails (tone ails) are used to make men merry!

    yew – wood to make bows

    yewmen = archers

    tone ails = soothing song

    archers singing soothing song = Robin Hood’s Merry Men

  230. I use my toenails to pinch people who annoy me, I’ve become very good at this. I also use them to scratch my dogs belly, he loves it.

  231. Toenails are there to remind us that we spend our lives walking on what are basically a pair of hands! Perspective is everything. –S.

  232. Toenails are like mood-rings for your feet. They turn purple to let you know when your boots are too short or that you’ve walked too far.

  233. Beneath the toenail I am dirt, but the dirt holds a secret. Darning those socks sure saved the other 9. 

  234. The vanishing race. Toeprint.
    To meet the spirts above, I left my mark within the wood. Step by step, toe to toe, the print of my nail will show.

    BRAVE AND IN THE WOOD.

  235. For those fisher people with no rod.
    Simply TOE the line to catch a ?
    If the toe is not nailed down, you have nothing.

  236. Toe-nails understand where warm waters begin. Tearfully wetting toenail below, age-old man weeps, pondering ancestral roots/beginnings, and where souls must go at last breath, when final bell is rung.

  237. for every postman who has walk the block
    Their toenails have talk the talk
    In the day walk till night
    Their toenails say goodnight

  238. When we were dating,
    I kept them so fine.
    Years into marriage,
    Their care went to pine.
    Now too old to bend, I trim yours
    And you hacksaw mine.

  239. I accidentally nailed down my toenails at the first clue so therefore I cannot go home and play Canasta.

    ” SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME I’M STUCK ”

    b

  240. A toenail in one’s eggplant soup is Fickle Fate’s
    way of telling you to eat at home. No Reservations.

  241. Just like Oreo cookie wafers protect the cream filling, toenails are the protector of the tender cuticle below.

  242. The answer is clear. Toe nails are tiny skylights used by toe bones so they can enjoy the sunshine from time to time.

  243. for measuring symmetry, if while standing you see all 10 nails fully, you’re concave; if you see half of all 10, you’re symmetrical. Seeing overhangs or less, you’re obtuse.

  244. Toe nails have been used since the dawn of man as weight management. If you look down and can’t see them… Lay off the dino-burgers and sloth-dogs

  245. Measuring joy, trepidation, love, excitement, certainty, and danger, toenails tingle like telltale barometers. Advising when to stop, turn back, proceed slowly, full speed, or stay home playing canasta.

  246. Essential part of human biological clock. Track time and moon phase. Or to secure wood mold for casting.

  247. My sweet Lunula
    where are u?
    I’m here mom
    in the (matrix)
    the womb, can u feel me?
    Yes, cutie pie.
    Uña will protect u.
    Hang in there, mom’s here.

  248. The eyes are the windows to the soul. The toenails are a reflection of how many times one looks in the mirror.

  249. They are the hats that our go-getting, pusher-offer toes wear as they move our feet forward, and sometimes they’re painted pretty colors.

  250. THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW ENTRIES

    THE TOENAIL JUDGES WILL BEGIN THEIR WORK AND A WINNER WILL BE SELECTED IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS

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