Scrapbook One Hundred Twenty Three…

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DECEMBER 2014

 

More Than Just a Pig

The problem with having a wild pig for a pet is that you have a wild pig for a pet. And if you get two of those little things that grow up to be giant 400 pound wild boars with 5 inch bone-crushing tusks, your troubles mature exponentially.

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So of course that’s what I did while Peggy rolled her eyes and reached for a hankie. “They’re easy to provide for because they’ll eat anything,” an environmentalist friend remarked, “… and they love feeding on rattlesnakes.” Whaaaaat???

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They were so adorable climbing on the rocks around my yard and eating my daffodils. And best of all, they loved having their tummies rubbed. I became smitten.

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A friend trapped those critters down near Houston and put them in a large cage to await my arrival. When he took me out to look at the sweet darlings, we found their mother trying to get into the enclosure by chewing on the 4” galvanized steel cyclone fence.

 

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Prudence whispered that we should swiftly retreat to the house. The word fury cannot begin to describe what was happening to that poor fence.

Well, the animals grew quickly and when they began to lose their stripes, I lost all desire to take their picture or rub their bellies. Love at first sight had faded like smell on my dead daffodils!

It was not without enthusiasm that I contacted my environmentalist friend who lived on a ranch near Santa Fe. He could sense my excitement as I explained the merits of possessing two of God’s most magnificent creatures. “They live close to the earth,” I said, “And besides, they’ll reduce the rattlesnake population on your property, thus enhancing its value.” The enthusiasm in my voice won the day. and my precious pets quickly became his very own.

Several months later I drove out to see how the pesky hogs were faring. As I neared the south pasture I noticed the ranch foreman sitting high up in a pinon tree with two severely predatory boars below, looking up with hungry anticipation.

So I thought it was judicious to quietly turn my Jeep around and head back into the direction from whence I had come. As the sun mellowed across my rear view mirror, I couldn’t help but smile and think that once again, success had been snatched from the jaws of defeat. I really do enjoy getting myself out of tight spots. I’ve gotten pretty good at it.